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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Divorce... REALLY!!??

Okay... so here I am typing this out teary eyed... ya, I am telling you that cause we all cry at times... and the ones that don't let those tears streak down their faces... really should, cause it builds up then you find yourself blowin up.. and really WHO wants that anyway?

When I left my job at Aldi... well actually before I left there, the important thing was to make sure we found insurance coverage for my husbands scripts. See he is disabled (motorX accident) and without his meds covered I wouldn't be able to leave that job... well he found coverage through Blue Cross, their Part D. How awesome is that!!! ... and it wasn't hard to find coverage, didn't take long and BOOM he was covered costing us $100 a month WOO-HOO and OH YES... you better believe I put my 2wk notice in the same day we found out about his coverage. :-) That was in May, his coverage started in June...

Okay... last months (August) doctor apt. he calls me and says ... "Your not gonna believe this" come to find out, after the whole "We will take care of you" line that Blue Cross fed us, they threw us into a "donut hole" no not the yummy sugary one either! Come to find out, a "donut hole" is something you are shoved into when your script cost is high... Blue Cross explained that once we pay $5000 plus his monthly script cost which totals $1500 we will then be taken out of the hole and his meds are then covered again. Well, we tried to drop Blue Cross, only to find they have you trapped I guess one could say... we are unable to drop them, they are still going to take the $100 each month until December... (BIG SIGH) "fine what ever" is what we both said... what to do??? Luckily the pharamcy we use helped us out with a hug discount and only charged us $400, normally his cost is about $70... so there went the grocery, gas, and bill money... okay well God provided our groceries... and paid the bills we were going to pay with the money that went to the pharmacy. (ISN'T THAT JUST AWESOME!!)

This past few weeks, I have talked and met with so many people to try and get help with the upcoming doctor apt and pharmacy charges... today I met with a company who thought they could help. I quickly found out my husband's major med (the one he REALLY needs) isn't covered through any of the organizations out there for people who fall into the donut hole... what does one do?? Well, before I left this one office, she gave me this other company, thinking they could help... they can!! Except the second major med is not covered... and you know that is fine... cause everything always seems to work out and I am sure this will too..

Through ALL of this though, the whole reason for me spilling all of this out is to get to this here... I have been told about 6 times today that it may end up I have to get a divorce in order for the organizations and DHS and all other -help- out there to be able to help... A DIVORCE??? SERIOUSLY??? What is wrong with this?!?! ... EVERYTHING!! WOW! I have heard of divorce because... well the excuses are many... but to get medical assistance from the organizations funded by state and such you find yourself getting a divorce so you qualify??? I am not sure what else to say at this point, except for how disappointed I am.

I remember when I was 17, straight out of HS in 1991 (wow I just blurted my age in a round about way huh? LOL!) I was working at a local fast food place when an older couple sat across from each other holding hands, their heads as close as possible, as they both leaned towards the center of the table. They were both in tears,  the husband was in an almost uncontrollable sob. This broke my heart, and I couldn't just walk away... so I stopped and asked if they needed a stranger to talk to. The lady looked at me and through her sobbing explained that in order for them to keep their home and afford medical assistance they were being forced into divorce... WHAT!!! I was shocked, I had never heard of such a thing. But sitting before me was something beautiful, a couple that held themselves together for many, many years only to be forced into something they themselves never thought they would face. It made me want to cry... I stood there quiet for a moment, then said... you know, it's obvious that you two truly love each other... and just because a piece of paper says you are or are not married doesn't mean too much... I believe if before the eyes of God you are married, a piece of paper can't end that. God knows your heart, and He hears your cries and He also knows of your situation... a piece of paper can't destroy what He has given you. In the eyes of God you will be married until death do you part... He holds you together, not that paper...

After I said that I thought maybe I said something wrong because I was stared at blankly for a minute, then they both smiled at me... and said thank you so much... whether I said the right or wrong thing, never did I know I would be saying the same thing to myself 21yrs later... It was easy for me to say that to them, it is easy for me to remember and repeat that to myself... but what I didn't ever experience until now... the empty feeling of loneliness, failure and sadness... I now feel what they were feeling that day... I have shed my tears with my husband just as they did... and I echo those words I spoke in my mind... but I am left with the question of why?? Is it so horrible in the eyes of our government for people to be married, and because they are, they are punished and forced into a situation like this? I may not ever know the answer to that question, but I know now the sadness it deals out...

We have until next week to come up with the funds to pay for his meds for this month... and I don't and haven't had any worries about how in the world am I going to do this... my faith is in God, my life is as he guides... I wake up daily with a new piece of my puzzle, in it holds my journeys and adventures... with each one I am taught new things, new understandings and ways I can be there for someone else if ever they face that same situation... so I am only left with two words that I pray each day... "Thank You!"

Till death do you part... 

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